


If Democracy Collapses Tomorrow, It’s All Darren’s Fault

by whenidance



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-04
Updated: 2011-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:49:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenidance/pseuds/whenidance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren and Chris go vote together, and then go back to Darren’s place and get cleaned up and vote some more (what, I still find this joke funny, sorry). Banter and nakedness and not as cracky as it sounds, I swear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Democracy Collapses Tomorrow, It’s All Darren’s Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t make me paranoid and don’t send this outside the fandom because in real life, I could care less who these two date (but they make for some great fic, which is totally made up, in case you didn’t get the memo). Originally started for the CrissColfer 1SM and posted in two parts on LJ.

"I can't believe you've never voted before!" Darren bounces in his seat as he heads towards the library. They'd just finished a fifteen hour overnight shoot, and Chris should probably be more tired at six-fifty am, but he's not. Which is why he got talked into _voting_ and breakfast before returning home. When Darren first asked, he almost wished he had carpooled with Ashley, but Darren's so damn excited about it.

"Yeah, well, I'm a young'un, remember? The first election I could vote in was when Glee was starting up and I didn't request an absentee ballot in time. You're just lucky we're in the same polling district or I wouldn't be voting in this one either." Chris looks out the window as they slow for traffic, always amazed at how many people are up and moving so early. "I'm surprised we are, our places aren't even that close and mine is way nicer than yours." He turns his head to smirk at Darren so he knows he's just teasing. As if they could ever have a serious moment anyways.

"Hey now, I'm living in a place now where all the appliances work. I've made it big, baby." He waves his hands as he speaks and Chris thinks about telling him to keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel but as if Darren can read his mind, he grips the wheel and faces forward.

The sun is up in full force now, beating in through the window as opposed to it just rising when they left the lot. It's a little warm in Darren's car, but instead of asking him to adjust the air, he slips off his cardigan and tosses it in his bag, The white v-neck underneath is technically an undershirt, but it's just Darren, and last he checked the diner by his house was far from fancy. "You know you're not doing such a good job at this Rock the Vote thing? I'm going into this willfully unprepared. I don't even know what we're voting for. I don't go into things unprepared, D Criss."

"I'll have you know I have a sample ballot filled out in my back seat under my mail for you to look at, thank you very much." Chris turns in his seat and finds the folded papers under stacks of bills and advertisements, and turns back around to open them up. "I'm going to take a gander and say our political views are similar, so if you're not sure you can always go with what I picked."

"How do you know I'm not one of those gay Republicans, Darren?" Chris deadpans and he can see Darren start to panic a bit.

"Oh. Well, that's cool. Um. Maybe you should vote for the opposite of everyone I picked then because -"

"Darren, I'm kidding." Darren glances at him and laughs. "You really don't mind if I use a cheat sheet?"

"Nah, it's your first time! Your first time should be easy and fun so you come back a second time." _What an interesting choice of words,_ Chris thinks, and he turns to Darren, who's shaking his head and muttering under his breath and loosening the collar on his button down. Chris just raises an eyebrow and turns his attention back to the sample ballot, trying not to think of that story Darren told that night at Naya's where he turned a blatant come on from an 'eighteen and legal' girl to a five minute speech about voting.

Thankfully, they're almost there, so the remaining silence isn't at all awkward. Darren parks in the back, under a large shade tree, instead of parking up front in the sun with everyone else. Chris doesn't think they'll be there long enough to warrant the need for shade, but he's not going to argue. "So, do they use those electronic forms here, or do I still have to be worried about that hanging chad nonsense?" Chris asks instead as they walk up to the library entrance.

Darren laughs again, kind of nervously, and replies, "Yeah, they use the electronic ones here, the old ones were kind of a bitch, you had to make sure your stylus punched the hole just right ..." He trails off as he drops his wallet and Chris isn't quite sure how Darren got from bouncy and excited to flustered, but there they are.

It's not that crowded. After looking through the sample ballot, Chris still couldn't tell anyone what he's voting for, but he and Darren stand in the A-C line to get checked in. Darren lets him go first and when the little old volunteer gives him his ballot, he turns to Darren and whispers, "Wish me luck!"

He shamelessly copies all of Darren's choices from the sample ballot, and when he turns to back out of the tiny polling booth, Darren is behind him, glancing up to meet his eye and looking like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be. They wordlessly switch places and Chris goes in to turn in his ballot, tucking the sample one under his arm and walking out into the hall to wait for Darren and affix his 'Just Voted!' sticker to his shirt, noticing it might be a little tighter and a little more transparent than he remembered.

Darren appears soon after, his sticker attached at the corner to his finger where the volunteer stuck it, looking like he's not sure what to do with it. "Oh, here," Chris says, taking the sticker and pressing it over Darren's chest, his fingers lingering a little too long, causing Darren to breathe in sharply. He pulls his hand back quickly and turns on his heel, walking to the car and hoping Darren is following him.

By the time he's almost to the car, Darren catches up, seemingly back to normal. "So, all in all? Not painful, sorta fun, you'll come back for more?"

Chris turns and braces himself on the passenger side door. "You've been talking about something other than voting for the last twenty minutes, haven't you?" Damn, he hadn't meant for his voice to sound that broken, but it causes Darren to react, grabbing his hips and pulling him close.

"Oh god, yes," Darren replies, practically growling and nuzzling into his neck. "I have no idea who or what I just voted for. If democracy collapses tomorrow, it'll be all my fault."

Chris is about to joke back, but his hands are on Darren's arms, and Darren is pulling him closer, leaning in to kiss him hot and wet and a little bit dirty, not at all the way Blaine kisses Kurt, as if he needed Chris to know this was Darren kissing him. It feels amazing, and Chris is so glad he didn't carpool with Ashley, but as secluded as they are in the back under the shade tree, this is still a library, and this could get them in so much trouble. "Darren - we can't - here," Chris blurts out, his voice broken again, and he's not quite sure how Darren can do that to him, but he does, and then they're both in the car catching their breath.

"Chris, I'm sor-" Darren starts, but Chris cuts him off.

"Darren, just drive." Darren looks at him, soft and confused, but starts the car and pulls out onto the road.

"Where am I going?" he finally asks, Chris still breathing heavy.

"Your place is closer than mine."

\---

Darren glances over at Chris, who's smiling a little, and biting his lip, and staring out the window. His hair is still sticking straight up from all of the hairspray the makeup team used, and Darren wants to run his hands through it like crazy, but he'd also like to make it to his house without killing them, so he tries to focus on driving. It's just that Chris's shirt is kind of wrinkled now from where Darren twisted his hands in it and it's riding up on the side and pulling tighter across his chest and damnit, why does he live so far away from the library?

"You keep looking at me," Chris says, breaking the silence. The way he says it, kind of curious, makes Darren want to tell him everything, that he's always thought Chris was an attractive guy, but you know, _boundaries_ , and the whole time they practiced that kissing scene, he didn't allow himself to leave Blaine's headspace, because that would have meant so much trouble. That when he saw the stupid Born This Way clip days later on his laptop, he'd never been so disappointed about not being included in a scene, because Chris' hair was mussed and his shirt was tight like today, proclaiming he _liked boys_ , and wasn't that the point? Because Darren doesn't like boys, he likes girls, but he's never wanted someone as bad as he wants Chris in his life and he has no clue what he's doing.

"I do," is what manages to slip out, followed by, "I have no clue what I'm doing." Which doesn't make much sense without the whole preamble, but Chris just laughs loudly at him.

"Like I do?" he responds, and touché.

He pulls onto his street and they must have missed the work and school rush, because it's dead, and Darren's never been so thankful. Though, he's not entirely thankful for the long walk from his carport to the front door at the moment. When he picked the place, he thought the sunken stone paved carport was charming, and so what if he had to walk up a hill to his front door because the previous owners hadn’t put in a downstairs door? It would be easy enough to put in later, he was assured, and it’s not like he’s ever low on energy. Halfway there, Darren realizes it would have been much more enjoyable to follow Chris up the hill. Payback from when he stared at Chris' ass in the voting booth, he guesses.

Flustered at the idea of Chris probably staring at his ass this whole time, he drops his keys outside the door. Both of them bend down to pick them up and almost bang heads in the process. Chris gets to them first, and hands them to Darren. "I've never seen you like this."

"I've never felt like this," Darren replies, slipping the key in the lock and opening the door. He holds the door open for Chris and realizes that's not at all what he wants to convey. "Actually, that's not very true at all. I feel like this all the time, there's just this nagging little creature in the back of my head yelling at me about professionalism. It must have crawled out my ear and scampered away at some point. That part is new."

Darren turns to face him. Chris tilts his head and opens his mouth like he's about to say something, but shuts it instead. "I'm sorry, did I just freak you out?"

Chris shakes his head slowly. "No, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you feel this way all the time." Darren looks at him and realizes that he’s replaying previous interactions between them in his head, trying to figure out how long all of this has really been going on. Darren just lets him, because really, who could blame him.

Finally, Chris breaks the silence with, “Your piano came,” and he realizes Chris hasn’t been back here since the day Darren closed on the house, the day Chris and half the cast insisted on coming by with pizza and wine even though there was nothing in the house but those god-awful curtains and the giant potted tree by the front door, remnants the previous owners left behind. Lea had asked him if he’d ordered any furniture, and he replied that he hadn’t, but he’d ordered a piano. Everyone laughed, good-naturedly with Darren laughing along, but he’d met Chris’s eyes and knew that he understood.

“I have furniture now too,” Darren says, gesturing to the living room where there’s an actual couch, one that doesn’t fold out into a bed. “We could sit and talk. Or not talk. Or. Just.” Darren sighs. “I’m sorry. My words are failing me today.”

“That’s the second most unlikely thing that I thought would ever come out of your mouth.” From the look Chris gives him, Darren doesn’t have to guess at the first. Instead of walking to the couch, Chris sits down on the piano bench and looks at Darren expectantly. Darren slides in next to him and Chris starts playing, something Darren doesn’t recognize, something short and light. He watches Chris’s hands fly over the keys and when he stops, asks him what it was.

“It was the first full song my piano teacher taught me. I can’t even remember the title, something about a mouse or a birch tree, or whatever they make up for kids to learn. Anyways, whenever I sit down to a new piano, it’s the first thing I play, kind of for good luck. Now your piano has been christened by me,’ Chris says, looking at Darren and laughing a little. “I’m sorry, saying that out loud sounds really stupid.”

“Dude, you could recite the entire Twilight series from memory and not sound as stupid as I sound today,” Darren jokes, nudging Chris with his shoulder. “I’ll have you know my piano is insanely proud to be christened by you. I think it likes you more than me.”

Chris sighs and nods approvingly. “I understand completely, it must be tough living with you and getting used all the time. What do you play on it, actual music? The poor thing probably thought it was just going to sit in your foyer and look pretty, not _get played_.”

Chris turns and smiles at Darren, waiting for Darren to continue their banter, but Darren just stares at him silently and returns the smile. Chris looks away and self-consciously runs a hand through his hair. "You do have running water, right? I know you said the appliances work, but still. If we're going to hang out or whatever -" he pauses and flutters a hand and he's _blushing,_ and that's starting to get to Darren, "- I might need to borrow your shower. My hair is driving me insane."

Darren twists on the piano stool to face Chris. "It's driving me insane too," he says, voice low, hand reaching up to cup Chris's face.

"Oh really?" Chris replies, his voice wavering a little. "Because I was just sitting here waiting for you to make a _Mean Girls_ joke."

"If I run my fingers through it will I learn all your secrets?" His hand snakes around to the back of Chris's head, and he can see why it's driving him insane. With Chris in Kurt hair and Darren in Blaine hair, they probably have enough product to tame the population of Lima.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Chris says, closing his eyes and leaning into Darren's hand and looking a bit confused. "Not that it matters, I'd tell you anyways."

That's all the invitation Darren needs before leaning in and kissing Chris again. Chris grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him closer, which angles Darren's head differently and allows Chris to deepen the kiss. Chris is practically in his lap on the piano bench which is way too small for their shenanigans and he attempts to run his fingers through Darren's own hair helmet.

"You might need a shower too," Chris whispers, breathy in Darren's ear and Darren holds back a groan while Chris takes the opportunity to tease his earlobe with his tongue.

"Is that an invitation?" Darren asks, a little belatedly, because Chris is working his way down Darren's neck with his mouth, and it's fairly distracting, to put it mildly.

Chris just hums an affirmation and keeps going, lingering a bit just under his collarbone, which will surely leave a mark, but Darren can’t seem to worry about that because all he can think about is moving somewhere else where they have more stability so he can return the favor. He tries to shift them, which offsets the balance and almost sends both of them toppling to the hardwood floor.

“I think the piano’s had enough of us,” Darren says, grabbing onto Chris’s arm so he doesn’t fall.

“You should show me where your shower is. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t part of the original tour.” Chris braces himself on Darren’s knees and gets up off the bench.

“No, probably not.” He stares at Chris for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell Chris he didn’t just trip and knock his head and fall into a lust filled coma, that he likes Chris _as a person,_ which Chris probably already knows but –

“Darren,” Chris says surely, entirely more sure than Darren feels. “It’s okay. I get you. I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page here.” Chris runs his thumb over Darren’s cheek, stubble already forming since he hasn’t shaved since yesterday, and yeah. Yeah, okay, fair enough. Darren gets up and kisses Chris, just once, softer and slower than earlier, before leading him up the stairs to his bathroom.

Darren grabs some towels from the linen closet before turning on the shower. The house has old plumbing and it takes a few minutes for the water to warm up, but on the upside, the water stays warm practically forever. Darren turns to joke with Chris about it, but Chris doesn’t let him, pulling him in by his shirt again for another kiss before starting to unbutton it. Darren runs his hands under Chris’s tee and pulls it off once Chris is done with his unbuttoning. He shrugs his own shirt to the floor and presses Chris up against the wall, kissing at his chest the way he had wanted to downstairs.

“Darren,” Chris breathes as Darren’s mouth finds a particularly sensitive spot on his neck, “I promise, you can do whatever you want to me, just let me wash my hair.”

Darren grins against his skin. “So demanding,” he murmurs, fumbling with the button on Chris’s jeans before pushing them down his hips. Darren backs up so Chris can step out of the jeans, and Chris uses that opportunity to walk over and check the water temperature. It must be warm enough, because Chris quickly slips out of his boxer briefs and jumps in, Darren not getting more than a glimpse before he does. Darren strips out of his own jeans and boxers as fast as he can before following.

Chris is already working shampoo into his hair when Darren enters the shower, in addition to being naked and hard, which kind of blows Darren’s mind. Chris uses an elbow to nudge Darren under the spray of the shower head. “You should wash your hair too.”

"Yes, sir," Darren says with a wink before wetting his hair. "You're kind of bossy when you're naked."

"Judging from your reactions, I wouldn't be all that surprised if you liked it," Chris replies with a smirk, making them switch places so he can wash the shampoo out of his hair and apply conditioner. Darren does like it - it's unexpected, sort of - but not really.

"What if I said I did?" Darren asks, grabbing at Chris's hips, his hands still soapy from the shampoo.

Chris just bats at Darren's hands and switches them again. "Conditioner first."

Darren hastily washes out the shampoo and starts to work the conditioner in. "I'm supposed to leave it in for three minutes though, are you really going to make wait three more minutes?"

Darren pouts a little and Chris traces a finger around the spot on Darren's chest where he was sucking before, already turning red and purple. Darren's breath hitches and Chris says quietly, "I'd never done that before. I'm not as clueless as I tend to let on - but still, that seems silly, right? Such a simple thing. I wasn't really thinking though, I hope you don't mind."

Darren inches towards Chris, out of the spray so his conditioner can set. "I _so_ do not mind," Darren replies, a little too enthusiastically, and Chris laughs.

"So, three minutes, huh? I guess I have some time to do whatever _I_ want to _you_." Chris doesn't waste any time, backing Darren up against the tile and kissing him.

Their hips slot together just right and they still for a moment, Chris breathing in sharply and Darren letting a low moan escape his lips. The water and their damp skin is providing just the right amount of friction, and Darren can't help himself. "Fuck, Chris."

Chris shudders at his words and Darren files that away for later. Chris sticks his hand in the spray of the water to wet it and reaches between them, biting his lip before he grips Darren's cock, his eyes wide and staring straight at Darren when he does it. Even though he starts out slow, Darren's been hard since they got to the library and he knows he won't last long.

"Seriously, fuck, Chris," he repeats before wrapping his hand around the back of Chris's neck and puling him in for a kiss, sloppy and open mouthed. Chris's hair is slick under Darren's fingers and Chris's cock is hard against his thigh and Chris's fist is warm and wet, just like his mouth, which Darren is making broken, muffled noises against. Darren breaks away long enough to mumble, "God, Chris, just like that, it feels amazing. _You're_ amazing."

"Yeah?" Chris asks, soft and breathy in Darren's ear, and damn, Chris is a quick learner. He twists his hand right under the head of Darren's cock, and whispers again, "Tell me more."

Darren stops himself from saying _fuck, Chris_ a third time, but just barely, because Chris whispering in his ear is turning him on way more than it should. So he tells Chris exactly that, and Chris just chuckles softly and nips at his earlobe before saying, "I'll have to keep that in mind for next time," and twisting his hand again. That's what finally does it, as if his subconscious stops holding out now that there's promise of a _next time_. Darren comes hard and fast over Chris's hand, and Chris strokes him through it, backing off when his hips pull back from the overstimulation.

Chris kisses him once hard on the mouth before pushing himself off the wall (and Darren) and rinsing his hand in the steady stream of water still coming from the shower head. "I think that took longer than three minutes. I hope your hair enjoyed the deep moisture treatment."

"Not much longer, and I'm certain all of me enjoyed it," Darren says, still trying to catch his breath, noticing Chris is just watching him come down patiently, even though he's still hard as ever, and damn, Darren can't wait to take care of that. "How are you still so calm?"

"I'm just used to having an insane amount of self control," Chris replies brokenly. "It's waning fast, so rinse that conditioner out and get back here."

"As you can see, I have very little self control," Darren says, stepping into the water, amazed that the it's still warm.

"Thank god for that," Chris says under his breath, and Darren isn't quite sure he washed all of the conditioner out, but he doesn't really care and presses Chris backwards this time.

Darren runs his hands down Chris's sides and up his chest, roaming everywhere now that Chris has invited him to touch. Chris wasn't kidding about his self control waning, because it's not long before Chris says pleadingly, "Darren, please."

Darren drops to his knees then, shushing Chris's protests about the hard tile floor. He kisses down Chris's stomach to his hipbones, and kisses a mark just above his left one, figuring it's inconspicuous enough to not be found by the wardrobe department (because seriously, some of the shirts they've been putting Chris in since Kurt returned to McKinley are showing a _lot_ more skin than usual). Chris's cock starts twitching involuntarily and Darren figures he's been enough of a tease, and sinks his mouth over the head of it while holding Chris's hips still.

"Holy shit, Darren," Chris exclaims, and Darren looks up through his eyelashes to see Chris watching him. Chris reaches behind him on the wall for something to hold onto, but there's nothing but tile, so Darren reaches up to take it with his free hand and threads their fingers together, squeezing a little. Darren sinks lower, swirling his tongue, and Chris is just a constant stream of gasps and moans.

Chris lets go of Darren's hand and curls it in his hair, still slippery from the water and conditioner remnants. He doesn't push or pull, just rests it there, and Darren can feel his cock trying to get hard again just from the random touch. Darren moves his free hand to Chris's lower back, just before the swell of his ass starts, and pulls Chris towards him slightly in time with his bobbing. Chris groans loudly at the movement and tugs on Darren's hair a little. "Darren - c'mere - I'm -" Chris tries to say, and Darren just pulls him closer, his lips and tongue working faster, and he looks up just as Chris starts to come, causing him to cough a little, but he sees Chris's orgasm face so it was definitely worth it.

"Oh, fuck, Darren," Chris says when he finally makes his way back up, kissing Chris hard, Chris gasping when he tastes himself. Darren's doesn't think he's ever heard Chris say _fuck_ before but it'll be his goal to make it happen as much as possible now.

Chris glances at him, totally blissed out and Darren can't help but smile that he's to thank for that. "I'm fairly certain my self control is now shot."

Darren leans in and kisses the corner of Chris's mouth. "I'm sorry for being a horrible influence. Except, not really sorry."

They both quickly shower, passing the bar of soap between them before drying off and collapsing on Darren's bed, exhausted. Chris meets Darren's eye at one point and has a look on his face that says he doesn't quite believe what just happened. "Come here," Darren says lazily, pulling Chris close and nuzzling into his chest. They lay there together silently, Darren even dozing at some point, only snapping out of it when Chris's stomach growls loudly.

Darren laughs into Chris's chest. "I guess I still owe you breakfast, huh?"

"Good thing the diner serves breakfast all day," Chris teases, even though it isn't all that late yet.

They move slowly, collecting their clothes and putting them back on. "I don't know if I can in good conscience let you outside in that shirt again. I won't be held responsible for my actions if I do."

"So shirtless is a better option then? I know the diner is pretty liberal with their rules, but they might draw the line there."

"Dude, I have like, nine million tee shirts, most of them not see through. You can borrow one of them." Darren grins and walks over to Chris, picking up the white v-neck before he can get to it.

"I think you just want to see me in your clothes," Chris replies.

"Maybe," Darren says, pulling Chris in at the waist for a quick kiss. "It's a little of both, actually. Depending on what you choose, I might be less responsible for my actions than if you just wore your shirt."

Chris places his hand on Darren's chest, fingers splayed. "I trust you to pick a good one then."

\---

Chris has the news on, but isn't paying attention. He's laying on his couch, still in his borrowed Darren tee. Ashely has finally stopped the barrage of texts, Chris realizing at the diner that he'd ignored her all morning. The diner was surprisingly normal, despite Darren randomly staring at Chris for wearing one of his Freelance Whales tees under his cardigan. Chris would laugh and blush, but other than that, it was as nothing had changed between them, though _everything_ had changed between them.

He'd mentioned Ashley's unanswered texts (which continued into the morning before she finally said she was taking a nap and demanded an update upon her awakening), and Darren asked if he was going to tell her. Chris had asked if he cared and Darren just shrugged and said, "I trust your judgement. I don't care if you tell no one or everyone. Well, not like _everyone_ everyone, because Ryan might kill us, but you know."

Darren had dropped Chris off at his place afterwards, and he'd texted Ashely before taking his own nap and waking up in the afternoon, groggy from his messed up schedule. They had an early call tomorrow though, so he'd stayed up so he could attempt to get decent sleep that night. He should probably figure out dinner too.

His phone buzzes with a new text and he's sure it's Ashley with a new question to ask about his morning, but it's Darren.

 _I've decided I'm only voting with you from now on ;) - DC_

Chris just grins stupidly and texts back _They just said on the news that the polls don't close until seven in case you wanted to get some more voting in today._

The reply comes only a minute later - _be there in twenty._

Chris looks down at his phone. This means he has twenty minutes to get presentable. Chris is still wearing the tee shirt he borrowed from Darren with what has to be his oldest pair of boxers and his hair is all rumpled from his afternoon nap. He knows he looks about twelve years old, and that's definitely not the look he's trying to convey here.

Chris gets up off the couch and before he can get far, his phone rings. Ashley, he realizes, looking at the flashing picture of them in the limo on the way to the Golden Globes. "Hey, Ash, I can't talk right now."

"Why handsome?" Chris can hear her pouting on her end of the phone. "I'm on my way to get Thai and was going to offer to bring you some."

"Darren is going to be here in like twenty minutes, I have to go get dressed. I don't know if food will be involved, I didn't ask." Chris wanders over to his fridge to see if he even has any food. He hasn't been grocery shopping in over a week.

"Kinky," Ashley purrs before laughing.

"Hey, that's not what I meant! I do need to eat dinner, but we didn't discuss that." He shuts the door to his fridge, unimpressed with its contents.

"What did you talk about then?" Damn Ashley and her curiosity and Chris's inability to keep things from her.

"He sent me a text saying he was voting with me from now on and I replied that the polls don't close until seven and he said he'd be here in twenty. Oh my god, Ashley," Chris exclaims, slumping against the wall in his kitchen. "When did I turn into such a slut?"

Ashley laughs loudly, and at least someone finds his life funny. "About ten hours ago, babe."

He doesn't reply, probably because there are images of Darren sucking him off in the shower flashing in his head, and he's kind of okay with being a slut if that happens again.

"Honey, you're not freaking out, right? If anyone deserves to have a little fun, it's you." Ashley sounds legitimately worried.

"I'm not freaking out," Chris replies, but he doesn't sound very convincing.

Ashley sighs. "Chris."

"Ashley," he replies, matching her tone. "Okay, I'm freaking out a little. I have no reason to be freaking out though, tell me that Ashley.">

"I can't in good conscience tell you that without knowing why you're freaking out! Hold on, I have to put the phone down so I can park."

"Ashley! Why are you talking and driving without your bluetooth?" Chris scolds, and yeah, okay, maybe he could stand to have a little fun if he's yelling at her about talking on the phone while driving.

"I didn't know you'd need a freaking therapy session, okay? Hold on!"

Chris can hear muffled noises of her throwing the phone on the passenger seat. He really doesn't know why he's freaking out. Breakfast had been seemingly normal afterwards, totally not weird, and like he told Darren, they were on the same page. Weren't they?

He removes the phone from his ear to check the time. He's been on the phone with Ashley for over ten minutes; he has to get her off the line. When Ashley picks the phone back up, he doesn't let her get a word in. "Ash, seriously, I'm fine. I have to go though because I wasted half the time I have talking to you and I _have_ to get dressed."

"Aren't you going to take it all off anyways?" Ashley teases, and before he can answer, the doorbell rings.

"Damnit, Ashley, he's here!" Chris says, swearing again under his breath and pulling himself off the kitchen floor. "How did he get here in ten minutes? He had to speed." Okay, _now_ he's freaking out a _lot_.

"If I had gotten a booty text from you, I'd be speeding too, babe. I expect details over our craft services bagels tomorrow morning, bright and early!" Chris can picture Ashley winking at him and he quickly says goodbye and tosses his Blackberry on the couch as he passes.

Chris looks through the peephole and sees Darren bouncing from foot to foot on his front stoop wearing the same red polo and jeans he was wearing earlier. Chris wonders if he even slept at all.

"Hey," Chris says, cracking the door but mostly hiding behind it. "What, did you fly here?"

"Totally," Darren replies, laughing. "No, I found a shortcut, so I was either going to be ten minutes early or ten minutes late, it could've gone either way." He grins, but it quickly fades when he sees Chris biting his lip and not letting him in. "Hey, are you okay?" He looks legitimately concerned.

"Yeah, it's just I woke up less than an hour ago and either slept too much or not enough and I'm out of sorts and Ashley called and I wasted the ten minutes you took driving here talking to her which gave me no time to get presentable and I'm not wearing any pants," Chris says hurriedly, all in one breath. He meets Darren's eye and his face shows how conflicted he is, the fact that Chris is kind of freaking out versus the fact that Chris just said he isn't wearing pants. Chris has to laugh at that point, and why was he worried again? He can't really remember.

"I'm sorry, ignore my crazy and come in," Chris says, grabbing his arm and pulling him through the doorframe.

"Oh good, I was going to offer to leave, but I really didn't want to." Darren closes the door once he's inside and looks Chris over. Chris tries really hard not to be self conscious, to channel whatever had gotten into him earlier, but his sleep deprived brain is making it so hard to manage.

Darren meets his eye, and Chris can't help but drop his gaze. "I'm sorry, like I said, I didn't have time ...."

Darren closes the space between them and Chris melts into his arms. "I've seen you naked, it doesn't matter what you wear from this point out," Darren says quietly, hooking his chin over Chris's shoulder and pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around Chris's waist.

"Duly noted," Chris replies, after shutting his eyes and sighing, leaning his head against Darren's.

"You shouldn't even be worrying," Darren says, turning his head so his lips are practically against Chris's throat, his words vibrating against his skin. "You're kind of turning me on right now."

Darren's words send shivers down Chris's spine, even though he doesn't quite believe them himself. Darren starts placing kisses, soft and light, down Chris's neck and seriously, _what_ was Chris worried about again?

To his dismay, his stomach growls loudly at that point and Darren starts to laugh. "What, do you only eat food when I'm around now?"

Chris turns his head slightly to face Darren. "I'm pretty sure it's the opposite. I forget to eat food when you're around. You're a horrible influence, keeping me from proper nutrition." Darren nips at his jaw, which just proves Chris's point -he isn't really complaining, though.

"Come on, let's order Chinese food and watch bad TV," Darren says, a little excitedly, letting go of Chris's waist and tugging at his arm.

"That's one of your favorite things, isn't it? Chinese food and bad TV?" Chris asks, because in the time they've known each other, they've done both activities simultaneously at least six times.

Darren wraps his arm back around Chris's waist. "Only when I have good company. I'd watch aliens mating with pencils in a snowstorm as long as I could watch it with you."

"Your _brain_. How does it work exactly?" Chris teases, cocking his head to the side and looking at Darren like he's a little crazy, even though he knows there was a decent compliment in there. He extracts himself from Darren's grasp and walks into the kitchen to find the menus he keeps in a basket.

"Oh, come on, I can see it now." Darren smiles and waves his hands wildly. "The alien will be named Andy and he'll be red, not green, and the pencil - well he'll be Tommy with his little eraser cap hat, and it takes the snowstorm of 2541 to bring them together."

Darren's got a crazy grin on his face, and Chris doesn't know quite how to respond to that. He stares at him blankly for a while and then gives up and busies himself with the menu.

"Hey, hasn't it been scientifically proven that a guy's brain is hardwired to his dick?" Darren retorts, coming into the kitchen. "It's a package deal, if you want one you have to put up with the other."

Chris just smiles in response, but he is _so_ okay with that arrangement.

\---

Chris truly intends to let Darren turn on some bad TV while they wait the thirty-to-forty-five minutes for their food, but it doesn't work out that way. Instead, Darren is on top of Chris as they lay on the couch, solid and warm above him, pressing Chris slightly into the cushions on his overstuffed couch. They've been kissing for the past twenty minutes, the pace slow and leisurely - almost maddeningly slow, the opposite of earlier that morning when everything was rushed and needy. Chris's face will probably be torn up from Darren's stubble, and the makeup department will definitely have his head over it, but Chris can't imagine stopping.

"Are you awake yet?" Darren asks, low against his ear before leaning back up, hovering over him.

Chris opens his eyes a teeny bit and sees Darren staring down at him. He's grinning a little bit, and his hair is messed up (Chris's doing), and his eyes are dark and wide, and _this_ is why Chris was freaking out. He is _so_ in trouble.

He wraps his arm around Darren's neck to pull him closer and whispers on his lips, "Not quite, but the kissing helps."

Not long after, the doorbell rings. Chris sticks his palm firmly on Darren's chest and pushes him backwards. "They have a credit card on file, just sign my name and tip well."

Darren pretends to pout as Chris pushes him away. "So, I'm committing credit card fraud for you now?" he asks with a wink.

"You're the one who said I shouldn't put on any pants," Chris points out, getting up off the couch and heading to the kitchen. He may not have food, but he still has half a bottle of wine that Ashley brought over last week.

"You pantsless is totally worth committing crimes for," Darren replies with a look that would be downright obscene if it wasn't Darren giving it.

Chris rolls his eyes as he grabs two glasses from the cupboard. "I know I said I was okay with this brain to dick thing, but you're pushing the limits."

\---

Chris gingerly opens one eye. He sees _World's Dumbest_ on the TV, unsure if it's the same episode they were watching while they ate, as well as the empty take out containers and wine glasses on his coffee table. He opens his other eye and realizes his head is in Darren's lap. He sits up a little too fast and almost falls over the other way, but Darren steadies him.

"How long was I out?" Chris asks groggily, rubbing at his face.

Darren leans over and kisses Chris's cheek, where there's some sort of indentation - probably from the button on Darren's jeans. "An hour and a half. You totally missed some guy who drove a forklift to a lake and tied a rope around it to make a swing and then went flying into the woods when it snapped."

"However will I live," Chris deadpans back, still rubbing at his eyes. "This is why I shouldn't drink, it makes me sleepy."

Darren grabs the remote to mute whatever shenanigans are happening on the TV and guides Chris's hips over to his lap. "Being sleepy makes you sleepy," Darren says slowly, his thumb brushing over the hickey he left above Chris's hipbone earlier. "The wine just didn't do you any favors."

Chris breathes in sharply when Darren touches the sensitive spot, and leans into Darren, kissing him hard, the time for soft and slow gone now that they'll have no more interruptions. Darren lets out a surprised noise before matching Chris’s intensity, opening mouth just enough for Chris to slip his tongue in. Darren lets go of Chris’s hips and runs his hands up his back underneath his shirt, and why _is_ Chris still wearing a shirt? He breaks with Darren just long enough to pull off the tee shirt and toss it to the ground. Before he can lean back in, Darren comes forward to meet him, running his tongue down Chris's collarbone and causing him to gasp.

Darren moves down, catching Chris's nipple in his mouth and lingering just long enough to make Chris gasp again. One of Darren's hands is on Chris's chest, steadying him, and the other is moving down Chris's back, toying with the waistband of Chris's boxers when it reaches there, and Chris has got to get this out. "Darren? Not that I don't thoroughly enjoy what you're doing, but I'm here in my underwear and you're still fully dressed." Chris is surprised his voice is as steady as it is when he speaks, because he has a whole lot less self control than he did this morning, and he's even harder, if possible, or maybe it just seems that way because he's still a little tipsy - or maybe he's not tipsy at all anymore and he's just high on Darren. Either way.

He can feel Darren smile against his skin, but he doesn't stop right away, not until Chris's hands find Darren's belt buckle and begin to undo it. Darren finally pulls away and quickly removes his own shirt before helping Chris with his pants.

"Better? Are we even now?" Darren says as he pulls Chris back into his lap, his mouth already back against Chris's chest. He’s looking up at Chris through his eyelashes and Chris just nods in response. "Good, because I was kind of waiting for you to wake up so I could do this, you first this time," Darren mumbles against Chris's skin, reaching down to cup him through his boxers. Chris can't help but push forward into Darren's hand, using the back of the couch to steady himself.

Chris stares at Darren as he palms his cock, his face shadowed since the only light in the room is coming from the muted TV. Darren's gaze is focused on what his hand is doing, his face full of determination and want. He looks up to catch Chris staring at him, and kisses him, open mouthed and sloppy, and Chris feels Darren's cock against his thigh, reminding him that Darren is just as turned on as he is.

"Can I suck you off now?" Darren blurts out, breath ragged in Chris's ear. When Chris doesn't answer right away, Darren nips at his earlobe.

"That would involve moving too much," Chris breathes, for the first time that night being thankful of his underwear choices. His boxers are stretched a bit at the waistband from too many washings and he puts his hand over Darren's to help him maneuver around them. "Wait, I have a better idea," he adds when Darren begins to stroke his length and Darren stops and looks at him curiously.

Chris hooks two fingers under the waistband of Darren's boxers and Darren lifts his hips to let Chris wiggle them down and out of the way. Chris scoots closer and grinds against Darren, making him call out, "Oh, god, Chris, so much better." Chris licks his hand and reaches between them, stroking them both and trying to find a good rhythm, which proves more difficult than he imagined. Darren doesn't seem to notice, though. "Fuck, Chris, your _hands_ ," he says, which triggers something in Chris's mind, Darren has always had a thing for his hands.

Lea was jokingly reading Darren's palm one day on set, and he was complaining about his own when Chris had walked up. "Now, Chris has awesome hands," he'd said, pulling Chris over and grabbing his hand, touching their palms side by side for Lea to see. Lea laughed and pointed out that since Chris’s hands were larger than Darren’s, he spent more time thinking about things rather than acting on them (wasn’t that the truth), and his lifeline was wide, making him a generous lover (which Lea had said with an eyebrow wiggle and scandalized voice). Chris had laughed loudly at that point, not being able to look Darren straight in the eye for a few minutes afterwards, but now he wonders what his reaction had been.

Chris maybe has a thing for Darren's hands too, the way his callused fingers catch on his smooth, sensitive skin. Darren's hands are currently situated on Chris's ass, his palms spread wide and pulling him closer even though there was nowhere to go. While Chris continues to work them over, one of Darren's fingers slips, accidentally or on purpose, Chris isn't quite sure. It grazes Chris's entrance, just for a second, and Chris involuntarily breathes in sharply, which causes Darren to do it again - definitely on purpose this time - and say, "Oh, Chris, please. Please let me."

Chris just smirks and pulls Darren's hand up to his mouth, sucking each finger in individually, making sure to get them thoroughly wet. Chris can feel Darren's cock twitching against his as he does it, Darren not taking his eyes off of Chris for a second. When Chris is done, Darren pulls him in and kisses him, a little roughly, sucking on his bottom lip and then his tongue, pulling away just as quick and whispering on his lips, "Chris, when you - oh, _god_ , you looked so hot."

The angle is awkward and Darren's fingers feel different than his own, but Chris still momentarily forgets to keep jerking them off when Darren eases the first finger in, his eyes shut and lips parted. Only when he has the urge to push back against Darren's finger does he remember that he needs to stay where he is so he can reach both of them. His stroking becomes quicker, Darren matching his pace, and it's not long before Chris begs, "Darren, _more_ , please." Darren immediately obliges, slipping a second finger alongside his first, and Chris can feel the tight heat start to coil in his stomach.

"Darren, I -" Chris starts, but can't get the right words out. Darren understands anyways and starts pumping faster, kissing at Chris's shoulder, because that's the first thing his mouth finds. "Chris, come on, I want to see you come so bad," he murmurs.

Darren's looking up at Chris through his eyelashes again, and his lips are red and wet from kissing, and _damn_ , how did Chris get so lucky in the last twenty-four hours? He leans his head down to kiss Darren, which shifts Darren's fingers deeper inside of him, and Darren's free hand is suddenly over Chris's, speeding up his movements, and Chris is almost there when Darren says, "Oh, fuck, _fuck Chris_." Darren comes quick and hard, like he had no warning, which just _does things_ to Chris, like it's such an insane thought he couldn't wait, Chris had turned him on _that much_ and made him come _that hard_ , and Chris barely has any warning himself before he calls out Darren's name and comes all over both of their hands. "Sorry," Darren whispers, and Chris barely hears it, everything still a little white and fuzzy around the edges.

"For what?" Chris asks lazily before slumping against Darren, resting his head on his shoulder. The TV is still flickering in the background, their heavy breathing the only noise in the room.

"You're just too attractive for your own good," Darren states, sighing and wrapping his arms around Chris and nuzzling him into his shoulder more.

"Is that what the problem here is? What a horrible thing for you to have to deal with," Chris says seriously, though he’s sure Darren knows he's far from serious. He turns his face so he can look up and meet Darren's eye. ”I guess we’re never going to have sex in a bed, are we?”

Darren chuckles softly and replies, “Not if I can help it.” He tips his head to drop a kiss in Chris’s hair and starts to say, “It’s getting late, I should probably –“

“You could stay,” Chris says quickly, cutting him off, sitting back a little to face him. “I mean, if you want to. I still need a ride in the morning, but I could always call for a car if –“

Now it’s Darren’s turn to cut Chris off, pressing his lips to Chris’s. “I would love to stay,” he replies, grinning and making Chris feel less like an idiot for being so thrilled for him to stay over. "This is payback, though, right? You just want me to have to wear your clothes to work tomorrow?"

"You're just going to have to change out of them anyways," Chris teases, smiling back and remembering Ashley's earlier line. She knows his wardrobe well enough and he _knows_ she will comment the next day. Chris considers playing dumb. He does have quite a few blue shirts Ashley hasn't seen before. He pushes those thoughts away, patting Darren's thigh and saying, "Come on, let's go get cleaned up."

"Is that what we're going to do?" Darren asks, quirking his eyebrow. "I seem to remember being a bit distracted when I tried to get cleaned up earlier."

"Oh, well I'll try not to distract you too much this time then," Chris replies, pretending to be shocked, and getting up off Darren's lap. "I've learned today that you're very easily distracted." To be fair, Chris is easily distracted with Darren too - he just holds it together better than Darren does. Chris shakes his head and starts walking in the direction of the bathroom, hearing Darren following behind.

He's barely got the water running before he feels Darren come up behind him, pressing his chest to Chris's back and kissing his neck, reaching for Chris's wrists with his own hands. "You just have too many distracting things about you - your hands are the worst offenders," Darren replies. "If you could keep your hands to yourself maybe I'd be a little less distracted."

"I knew you had a thing for my hands." Darren's mouth moves to Chris's shoulder blades and he's pressing closer into him, his cock already starting to get hard again, and he really is like the Energizer Bunny, isn't he? "You really want me to keep my hands to myself, are you sure about that?" Chris smirks even though Darren can't see.

"Just for a little bit," Darren says as Chris steps into the shower, Darren himself right behind.

Chris locks eyes with Darren as he rinses quickly in the shower spray, switching places with Darren after. Chris watches as the water drips down Darren's shoulders, down his back, following water droplets lower and lower. The very last thing he wants to do is keep his hands to himself. "If I kept my hands to myself, what's in it for me?"

Darren grins, turning back around to face Chris and pushes him towards the wall, the tile cool on Chris's back and a twinkle in Darren's eye. "So much, Chris. There's so much in it for you." Darren's eyes are wide and he's not exactly smiling, but his lips are a little turned up, and his expression is making Chris's stomach twist up again. "I do believe I told you that you had first dibs on orgasms earlier."

And just like that - the mood is shattered. Chris's jaw drops a little. "Did you _really_ just use the phrase -"

Before he can finish, though, Darren's mouth is around Chris's cock, smiling at Chris's outrage of his word choices, and okay. Chris will put up with Darren's brain for this.

(Not like there was any question to begin with.)


End file.
